Thursday, April 18, 2013

Why Relationship Fails!

Whether it's a friendship, romantic relationship, a working relationship or marriage, the underlying reason for any relationship's failure can be attributed to disrespect.
Disrespect can manifest itself in numerous shapes and forms. Since this blog is dedicated to exploring love, let's focus our discussion on friendship, romantic relationships and marriage.

I've been happily divorced and single for almost nine years now and I've done my fair share of dating and it took me too long to recognize disrespect. But after all these years, I think I can easily claim to be someone of an expert in the matter. Be it as simple and obvious as being spoken to rudely or as subtle as someone not considering your feelings or your time. According to the dictionary, disrespect is a lack of respect or courtesy.  In my definition, disrespect is when I am overlooked; when my needs are not considered or when my feelings are not considered.

Here are a few other forms of disrespect:
- Verbal abuse: Being cursed at. Someone calling you names or belittling you, even if,  to them it's "just a joke".

- Physical Abuse or emotional abuse.

- Checking out another person while with your partner.

- I believe in complete transparency and welcome the opportunity to discuss anything and everything with my mate. But there are those who don't enjoy talking. It's either never a good time or they simply don't like to talk. Either way, an unwillingness to communicate is just disrespectful to the sanctity of the relationship because open and honest communication is one of the key ingredients to a successful relationship.

- Asking your partner for money. Gosh do I have stories to share. which I won't of course. I am always taken back by this one. How do men and for that matter, even women, ask their partner for money or for them to buy them things. Now I understand when a couple is committed to each other and have agreed to share their financial resources and responsibilities, but I am referring to a new couple that is perhaps still only dating. And yet, I wish I could forget how many times, a man has in a direct or a not so direct way, asked me to buy him a cell phone, pay his phone bill, loan him money for God alone knows what etc... Pathetic!!! And being the sucker that I was, until recently, I would give the money (no more than $50) but then walk away from this person forever!!! In my head, I paid the price for failing to recognize the slime ball that the person was. I guess my Catholic school upbringing continues to hover over me in my need to feel punished for my "bad" choices. :)

This is just the beginning of a what I'm sure, is a very long list. Since the intention of this blog is to initiate a conversation among friends, I am hoping, you'll share your thoughts on the subject. Of course, you have the option of posting a comment as "anonymous", but it's always more gratifying for me as a blogger to know who I'm interacting with. But I leave that to your discretion. Either way, please do share any other examples of disrespect that come to mind.

Everyone deserves love!!! Hope you're with your's.


Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Love! Romance! Relationships! Marriage! Partnerships! Family!

These are the most important parts of our lives. No matter where we live in the world, what color we are, what languages we speak, which God we worship; our interactions with our loved ones and more importantly, that one connection to a special someone that transcends time and space, one that binds us emotionally, spiritually, physically is the ideal relationship that we all hope, dream, pray, desire to experience at least once in this lifetime. This is the stuff of romance novels and epic love stories but without the tragic endings. This is the one union with another soul that helps us grow into our best selves and the hope is that we inspire that desire to be a better human being in our partners. 
We will be exploring love in all its shapes and forms, with all of its complexities from both a male and a female perspective. We intend this blog to serve as an ongoing discussion on the topic of love. Therefore, we invite you to comment and share your thoughts on the subject.

Wishing you all love!